Struggling To Be A Better Man

by | Oct 15, 2021 | Adulting

Hi Jaymee!

I have been your silent follower i saw your struggles while living alone but your positive outlook in life stand out more. I wonder from where on Earth you’re taking all your energy to be an inspiration instead. And here you are reaching out to others’ burden adding up to your burden. I decided to make this letter hoping that i could have some positive outlook in life. I have been so negative, so hard on myself. I don’t have close friends because I don’t want them to get into my life and talk about it. I tried to reach a psychologist but it disappointed me when they just focus with time limit and then bill again. I have been into depression. My past haunted me and I know I have a lot things to process. I wanted to transform, be joyful in everything but I always struggle with my sanity. I am losing my kids because of this. I am losing my family beacuse of my attitude and temper and a lot more. I don’t know how can I tell you how complicated my life is. I don’t know where to start.  Anyway, if I get a reply from you, then probably I know where to start.

Thank a lot!

MB from the Philippines

MY RESPONSE:

Hello MB!

Thank you for reaching out. First of all, let me just say that I’m so proud of you for having the awareness of what’s truly going on in your mind and heart right now and for sharing it with me. With that, you’re right! You’ve already started the journey to getting better just by acknowledging everything. Kudos to you!
With everything you’ve said, I’d like you to dig deep and ask yourself: Where is all this negativity coming from and why are you being hard on yourself? Most of the time, it comes from our childhood or an emotional trauma that subconsciously stayed. Thus, it became our inner voice as adults. Once you identify it, know that you have the power to change that narrative into something that will set you up for spiritual success.
It takes a lot of practice and getting used to because I’ve been there. But with patience and persistence, it gets better. You just gotta learn how to debunk those thoughts the moment it crosses your mind and replace them with your new uplifting and self-loving inner voice.
 
I also commend you for asking for personal and professional help and sorry to hear that it hasn’t been effective for you. However, help from others can only do so much. They are just like crutches to aid us walk when we’re injured. But it’s not our feet or legs or our core that we need to strengthen. At the end of the day, the drive and willpower to be a more joyful, pleasant person to be around with should still come from within you. And the motivation for you to do so is so you could maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with your family, friends and the people in your corner. 
Don’t wait until it’s too late to make good memories with the people that matter to you. Work on forgiving and loving yourself. Keep communicating with your loved ones how you’re feeling and allow them to support you in your mission to get better. Once you make them understand what’s going on, they would want to be there for you. And always acknowledge that you are doing the very best you can to be a good father, husband, friend and an overall human. We are all a work in progress but matters is we are aware and we are trying to get better. 
Let those bad days and thoughts pass by like a cloud. But shoo it away and say, “I hear you but I won’t go along. For I have people who I love and love me in return who need me.” And from there, carry on and live, laugh, and love!
 
Baby steps, MB. I know you will get there. Stay patient and faithful. Meanwhile, I’m sending you healing prayers as you journey to get better and find peace within yourself. 
 
Hopeful For You,
Jaymee 🙂
awareness | depression management | inner voice | mental health | self-love | work in progress

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